Can’t tell if she’s genuinely interested in you or simply wasting your time? We’re pretty sure you’re not alone. Quite often men get played by women into believing that they ‘have feelings’ for them when all they want is attention. If you’ve been pursuing her for a while but can’t tell if this is going somewhere, you might want to take a step back and think. It’s easy to get blinded by love and not see things in a practical light. These 6 signs will help you figure out if she wants anything more than attention. We spoke to Aman Bhonsle, Psychosocial Analyst and Relationship Counsellor, to be sure about these signs and understand the reason behind this attention seeking behaviour.
1. She Won’t Tell You If She’s Into You Or Not
Basically, her excuses are vague. If you ask her whether she’s into you or not, you’ll never get a solid answer. “Your question might give her an idea that you’re looking for something permanent or significant. In such a situation, many women like to manufacture confusion because that gives them a sense of control. This sense of control puts them in a position to garner more attention from you,” says Bhonsle. So, if she’s making you go around in circles about exclusivity and commitment, it’s time to think why.
2. You’ve Never Met Her Friends
For reasons more than one, one of the first things we do when we meet someone we see a future with is introduce them to our friends. Firstly, because we want to know our friends’ opinion about this person and secondly, because we want to include them in our inner circle. “The reason she doesn’t want you to meet her friends is because they’re a reflection of who she is. It’s also quite possible that she’s curating an image of herself that she wants you to see. Again, she wants to have full control over the way she projects herself to you and what you think of her,” explains Bhonsle.
3. She Asks Nothing About You
When you’re genuinely interested in someone, you want to know everything about that person! But you’ve noticed that time and again her questions and conversations lead back to her life, problems and everything related to her. “Clearly the most important person in her life is herself. You’re merely a facilitator in the way she feels about herself in a game she’s playing,” says Bhonsle.
4. She’s Always Fishing For Compliments
Everyone loves being complimented. It’s a part of feeling loved or loving someone. But to expect compliments all the time, or worse, go fishing for them, isn’t a good sign. “Either she’s used to too much attention or she’s never got any. If she’s always been a pampered child who got all the attention, she expects you to applaud everything she does. If she’s never got the attention she needed as a child, she’s compensating for it right now. Again, you’re the facilitator!” explains Bhonsle.
5. She’s Mentally Never Present
Even if she’s physically next to you, she’s always up to something else. Constant texting, social media obsession or taking selfies - her attention is never on you or the conversation you’re having with her. “Essentially, she has #FOMO (fear of missing out). She’s trying to hit multiple targets with one arrow. This scattered sense of social existence is common. It’s a way for people to be everywhere and get attention from those respective situations,” says Bhonsle. She wants to get attention from everyone while you stroke her ego!
6. She Flirts With Everyone
It’s a no-brainer. If she’s flirting with everyone, there’s very little chance that she’s loyal towards you. But this is also her way of garnering attention and not limiting it to receiving it only from you. “It’s a way of reassuring herself that she’s pretty, desirable, worth something - a way to to grab eyeballs on her own terms. She’s trying to define the terms of validation,” explains Bhonsle.
If your woman is showing any of these sneaky signs, you should probably give your relationship a second thought.