There are a few techniques that you’ve probably had in your sexual armoury ever since you first bought a pack of condoms. Yes, we men tend to rely on certain positions to make her happy; the commonest one perhaps being the old missionary. And why not… it is easy and amazing, right? But what if told you that your woman has been dreading a few positions all this while, even as you had rechristened yourself Himeros?
Before you starting thinking that your sex life has been a lie all along, hold your horses and read this. MH got talking to sex expert, Dr Sharmila Majumdar, Director and Chief Sexologist, Avis Hospital, to find out why your favourite moves aren’t making the cut and how you can fix them to satisfy her sex drive and in turn, yours!
Why It Doesn’t Work: Simply put, it’s painful for her! “The issue here is you may be ramming her cervix, which is why deep penetration is often more harmful than it is hot,” says Dr Majumdar. She adds, “If you’re fully removing yourself, then re-entering her, it often hurts her chances at staying fully lubricated.” You might be enjoying the view from behind, but imagine what she is looking at–the bed and her hanging knockers. Spare her the horror dude!
The Alternative: For women, sex is more about intimacy than just plain thrusts. Show her that you are into her by caressing her hair, running your fingers down her spine, and also leaning forward to kiss her neck and back. And don’t forget the stimulation. Plus, to make the thrusts less painful, keep the movement short and shallow.
Woman On Top
Why It Doesn’t Work: Because she is insecure. Says Dr Majumdar, “Most women tend to feel insecure when they are on top; they often worry about what their stomachs or breasts look like from where the man lays.” And even though she is your Aphrodite, the tiniest of doubts can put her off. And we bet you don’t want that.
The Alternative: Let her lie on her back; that’s where she is most comfortable. Raise one of her legs and ease inside in a 90 degree angle. She will love it (and so would you!).
Why It Doesn’t Work: It is one of the first positions you’ve known and wanted to try in the early years of your sexual learning. But when you get down to it, it doesn’t really work for any of you. “It’s too difficult for her to focus on receiving pleasure when she has to concentrate on giving it,” says Dr Majumdar.
The Alternative: Ever heard of taking turns in giving and receiving? That’s how it works. Be kind and pleasure her first. And when she is happy, then you are sure to be happier. “Also, women want you to look into their eyes and feel the connection,” explains Dr Majumdar.
Why It Doesn’t Work: Yes, it makes room for all the necessary ingredients of intimacy, including eye contact and plenty of kissing. But do you know what it leaves out completely? Clitoral stimulation! And that’s not an insignificant part. “There are only a few women who can orgasm vaginally, and if yours can’t, then this position will leave her high and dry,” warns Dr Majumdar.
The Alternative: The position is called Coital Alignment Technique (CAT). You move a little upwards so that your chest is close to her shoulders, and she can bend her legs 45 degrees to raise her hips up. According to a study from the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, women who were unable to climax in the regular missionary position, were 56 per cent more likely to climax using CAT.
Want to know about the sex positions for those insanely flexible ones? Click The Fit Couples’ Sex Guide!